How to stop Thanos

April 22, 2018  •  Leave a Comment

With Infinity War coming out on Friday (finally!), I present five surprisingly easy ways to defeat the mad Titan with the coolest rock collection in the galaxy

1. Nukes - Come on, if you can kill a Celestial with explosive batteries, you can kill Thanos with nuclear weapons

Infinity War Alternate Ending 1Infinity War Alternate Ending 1


2. The mirror dimension - They don't need the whole team, they just need Doctor Strange. Or does the tesseract trump other dimensions? Can someone explain the rules here?

Infinity War Alternate Ending 2Infinity War Alternate Ending 2


3. The melt stick - OK, suppose the space stone CAN get you out extradimensional traps. I'm pretty sure it can't stop you from being turned into a pile of goo.

Infinity War Alternate Ending 3Infinity War Alternate Ending 3


4. A simple distraction - The Cloak of Levitation is as much an Avenger as anyone else

Cloak and StaggerCloak and Stagger
 

5. Endless earworms - This may be the most effective strategy of all
(Aside: I like the idea of infinity stones going "boink" when they hit the ground)

Throwing Down the Gauntlet (Literally)Throwing Down the Gauntlet (Literally)

 

So what'll it be? Will anyone think of any of these? We'll find out on Friday.

[Edit]: OK, technically I suppose he could use the time stone to get out of #1-4 (that thing is just too darn powerful, isn't it?). But not if they attack him before he takes it. So there.

Post-viewing edit (spoilers): I am pleased to see that they did indeed think of the mirror dimension, and answered the question of the space stone vs. other dimensions (hint: the space stone wins). Also very glad to see they partly did what I drew in #4 with the cape attacking Thanos and Spider-Man attempting to rip the gauntlet off his hand. I was also wondering if Mantis would try putting him to sleep, which she did. But I still don't think he's immune to the melt stick. #5 was a joke of course, but there is still something to be said for the deus ex machina of cinematic doomsday scenarios--nuclear weapons. Invented by us puny humans at that. Once Thanos arrived on Titan, Doctor Strange should've sling ringed everybody back to earth, infiltrated a nuclear storage facility (come on, they're the Avengers, that's a walk in the park for them), and launched the sucker through a sling ring portal back to Titan and blown up Thanos. Boom. Problem solved. So sudden there's not even enough time for Thanos to turn the nuke to bubbles or tesseract himself away. In the words of President Whitmore, "Nuke 'em. Just nuke the bastards."

Even better, the combination of Doctor Strange and nuclear weapons would give Peter Parker an opportunity for another "really old movie" reference with some kind of "Dr. Strangelove" comment.

Doctor Who?Doctor Who?


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This is Thorin, one of my ferrets. Here he is sitting on my cartooning desk like he owns the place. Am I not the king?!
 

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